When The First Love Ends
by King Mikuo Hatsune
Summary: Just my depressing feelings about the song "When The First Love Ends" Slight GumixGakupo and MikuxKaito and MikuxMikuo Angsty character death


_**I tasted my salty tears when you gave me my first kiss  
It was just like a drama that I had seen  
The starting bell tore us apart / it must've been written in the script **_

Walking from my house down towards the train station I sang to myself. Remembering the life I once lived with her.

_Flashback_

_I sat on the roof during lunch like I did every day. The homemade lunch boxes I made for us lie next to me as I waited for you to meet me up here. I made your favorite, and this time I brought extra leeks and strawberries for us to share afterwards. Sitting on the bench near the fenced edged my back was turned as I looked out at the brilliant clear blue sky. I missed the sound of the door opening, but I felt your arms wrap around me tightly in one of your loving embraces I loved so much. Turning my head, I saw your large teal eyes stare deeply into mine causing me to smile. _

"_Hello Miku." I said softly. You just continued to stare at me until your eyes drifted down to the package next to me. Slowly you leaned closer to me and I felt my face burn; you grabbed the lunches I made and took a sit next to me. No words were exchanged as you opened both lunches handing me mine as you started to eat yours. The lunches were finished and we moved on the snacks I brought along. Strawberries came first before we moved on to our favorite, leeks. Teasingly I grabbed the last leek from your hand and started eating it. I remembered the look on your face before you started eating from the other end. Before I knew it I felt your lips on mine. The school bell rung signaling the end of lunch and I watched you retreat from the scene. I laid myself down on the cold hard floor tears pouring out of my eyes. Why? Why did you have to do that, when I knew it meant nothing to you? The taste of your lips was that of tears. _

_End of Flashback_

_**The chilly wind grazed along my cheek  
I breathed out rubbed my hands together  
in order to warm them up  
the brilliant illuminations decorating the bare trees  
make the streets a wonderland**__  
_I continued to walk myself down memory lane. The cold wind brushed against my unclothed skin. I shivered as I breathed into my hands and rubbed them together. Walking down the snowy path I looked around me seeing the brilliant trees illuminated with so many vibrant colors. The world around me looked like a wonderland; it reminded me of when I first met you.

_Flashback_

_I went along the path holding hands with my mother. It was almost Christmas and I was excited that nothing could bring me down. Walking pass the toy stores and candy stores I pointed to my mom for everything I wanted. She would just smile at me and tell me "of course dear," before we moved onto the next store. I remember my dad picking me up and throwing me on his shoulders as we weaved through the trees together. Laughing and beaming happily at the two, I noticed you. A small teal-headed girl sat behind one of the trees. You were wearing a large puffy jacket that matched your hair, but tears poured out of your beautiful large eyes. I told my father to let me down and once he did I dashed at you before my parents could stop me. _

_I held out my hand for you, but you looked at me indifferently like you didn't know you could trust me. So I sat down on the pavement next to you and placed an arm around you. You tried to pull away, but I pulled you closer placing your small head into my chest. I didn't know who you were then; all I knew was that I wanted to help you. _

"_What's wrong?" I whispered in your ear softly. You looked up from my chest, but quickly hid it in there again sobbing louder._

"_I-I can't find my parents." You managed to say through your sobs. I rubbed your back and you slowly started to calm down. My parents came over kneeling down beside us, but I kept my arms around you protectively like they were going to take you away. They looked at me smiling and I told them what was wrong. They asked me to stay here with you, and I did as they left to search for your parents._

_I felt you shiver in my arms and I looked at you. Your lips were purple from cold and your shivers grew more. I let you go for a minute, taking off my jacket I wrapped it around your smaller body and grabbed closer than before. You looked up at me happily, dry tears on your face. I kissed your cheek when one last tear dropped out. Your face heated up and you hid it from me again._

"_Miku? Miku!" I heard someone call out. I turned towards the voice and saw a green-haired woman and purple-haired man run towards us with my parents following behind. They ran closer to us and I felt you stir in my arms._

"_Mommy! Daddy!" You yelled in joy hopping out of my hands with my jacket still wrapped around you running towards the older man and woman. I stood up from my spot and walked towards your family._

"_See I knew you'd be okay." I said beaming down at your happy tears. _

"_Thank you, young man for finding my daughter." The purple-haired man said wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back. _

"_I'm a prince; I can't let a beautiful princess be alone right?" I said jokingly. I looked back at and you smiled back. Your father petted my hair and laughed at my comment. _

"_You ready to go Miku?" The green-haired woman said picking you up. You shook your head before trying to take off my jacket that was around you. I walked over and stopped you before you could. _

"_You need it more than me, keep it." You just looked at me before nodding turning back towards your mother as she picked you up._

_Your father held her hand, as you guys walked off in the other direction._

"_Bye Gakupo, by Gumi!" I heard my parents yell out. Your parents turned around waving goodbye back._

"_Bye Miku!" I yelled out waving goodbye frantically so you could see it._

"_Wait! What's your name?!" I heard you yell from your mother's shoulder._

_I took a deep breath in using all the air I had in my body to yell at your disappearing figure, "I'm Mi-"_

_End of Flashback_

_What were we back then? Seven or eight I believe._

I laughed to myself remembering afterwards I asked my mom if I could have you for Christmas. And on the day you and your parents came over. That was when we became best friends.

_**How could I tell you this feeling?  
I swallowed my words  
It was better to leave them unsaid  
Don't think that I am stupid  
It's a promise between me and myself  
No more looking back though it hurts**_

Best friends that's all we were going to be right? I tried to tell myself differently, but you continued to call me your best friend…

_Flashback_

_Where ever we went and whatever we did together the same questions continued to pop up._

"_Is he your boyfriend?" Some girl would ask._

"_Nope, he's my best friend and he's single!" You'd say happily. Girls often swooned after me, but I brushed them all off because I was in love with you. Yet, no matter how many messages I would send._

"_No he's just my best friend."_

"_He isn't my boyfriend!" _

"_He's more like a brother." _

"_Best friends forever right?" You said to me happily one day holding out your pinky finger waiting for me._

_End of Flashback_

I felt tears well up in my eyes, as I thought back to how stupid I was. If only I made a choice sooner to tell you how I felt, before he made his way into your life.

_**Arigatou Sayonara  
My heart-breaking one-sided love  
I'll just keep on moving on then I can get over you  
so please  
let me say thank you and goodbye  
though it's gonna make me cry  
when I tried not to burst into tears  
a snowflake touched on my skin  
It melted away and disappeared**_

_Flashback_

_I ran as quickly as I could to try and not to be late. What was this going to be our ten year anniversary as friends? I held the bouquet of flowers in my hand. I bought your favorite, blue roses correct? _

_I was going to confess today, finally after seven years. We both got accepted to the same university in Tokyo right? Maybe, just maybe we can finally live the life I've wanted to live with you there. At that thought I ran faster, the tree we met at in my sight. This was our sacred spot, where we first met. How could you share it with him?_

_My legs stopped and I had to grab a tree to stop my knees from collapsing under me. My eyes widened and tears started emerging, but I choked them back. There you were kissing the blue-headed scarf wearing man you sought after for so long. I should have known. He looked at you're the same way I did, but you only caught his gaze. _

_My gripped around the flowers loosened and although I was holding the trees I felt my knees hit the icy cold concrete. I felt something cold fall on my neck. And I looked up feeling the cold white substance fall on my face. _

"_Hey look Kaito! It's snowing." I heard Miku's angelic voice call out. How long has this been happening, was it just today? Or have they been dating for awhile? I sighed, the tears coming back up into my eyes. Did she just forget me? December 19__th__ was supposed to be our day…_

_I held back all the tears and picked myself up before bending down to grab the flowers. I had to be strong… I marched towards the couple, and my heart broke more with every step. It was our spot… How could you? _

_I walked up closer I noticed your cheeks were red, were you blushing or was it from the cold? You both didn't notice me as I stood next to you both. I said nothing; I just smiled because for once you looked happy with someone else other than me how could I hate you for that? I unwound my black scarf and wrapped it around your neck. You turned at the touch and your smile brightened at my appearance._

"_Oh, hi Mik-"You tried saying, but I cut you off._

"_Arigatou Miku, sayonara…"I said before turning my back away walking back towards my house. I heard your soft footsteps behind me before you grasp my hand trying to stop me. _

"_Happy anniversary…" I mumbled to myself, but I heard you gasp in recognition. You gripped my hand harder asking me to forgive you, but I pulled my hand out of yours and continued walking. The tears in my eyes were about to burst, but I couldn't let them out and I continued walking down the lonely road towards my house. I held my hand out watching the small snowflake fall into my palm and melt away; I was just hoping the pain in my chest would disappear just as quickly._

_End of Flashback_

_**Walking down toward the station, I felt totally left out  
"Hey baby, It's snowing!" said some girl to her lover  
All I wanted was to be like her  
I hoped it was not too late  
in my bag was a hand-knitted muffler**_

I continued singing, wrapping the scarf you made me for my winter birthday around my cold neck. I envied the girl in the song, she sounded so young and carefree. I heard the same line come out of a girl I walked passed as I continued trekking down towards the station. I gripped my first hard attempting to hold in my emotions, but I knew it would only be temporary.

_**How could I give this present for you?  
I am just a coward... and I am just afraid  
Is it okay to let it go if it would be a memory?  
I say to myself, "you're sure about that?" **_

_Flash back_

_It was a few months since I last saw you or even talked to you. It was more than that and I knew it, almost a year. The last time was when I saw you two that faithful day. You tried calling me every night for a week or two before you gave up. I stopped using the locker next to you and shared one with Luki instead. I switched seats of Kaito so I wouldn't be next to you in class. You would always try catching me in the halls or after school and class, but I was always a step faster than you. August 30__th__ your birthday… I never missed your birthday and I knew it, even the one right after we started talking. I moved wherever my feet took me throughout the large mall, from store to store looking for the perfect present for you. _

_It took me awhile before I finally found it in the store window. They price for it was ridiculous. A long body sized leek pillow. It was unique that was for sure, who would ever by a leek pillow? Miku would, and honestly so would I. Leeks we're both our favorites after all. I stepped into the store and asked the cashier to ring me up the pillow and like that 75 dollars flew out of my bank account. I hugged the pillow under my arm as I walked out of the mall driving home. It was too large to put in a bag, so I was going to hand wrap it. Somehow I found a box large enough to fit the huge leek, and I wrapped it in the special wrapping paper I always used for you. The wrapping paper was light blue with a leek design. I took out a black permanent marker and wrote on the top of the box, To: Miku From:Mik-. I stopped myself before I finished. Should I give you this present? I was afraid… that if I didn't I would be nothing but a memory. I sighed not finishing my name I took the box and drove towards your house. _

_You sat there outside your house with your door open. I parked nearby walking up to you taking a peek inside. Everyone was in there enjoying themselves, but you still sat out here. I walked closer and you finally noticed me. You flung your body at me and I was forced to drop the box to catch you before you fell. You hugged me tightly as if you never wanted to let go. _

"_You came… you kept your promise."You said looking up at me with tears in your eyes. I simply nodded as your put your head back into my chest squeezing me tighter._

_I just stood there staring at you as you sobbed my name into my chest. Finally you let go picking up the box I dropped holding it in your arms. _

"_Is this for me?"You asked curiously, well duh who else was it for? I just nodded again. "Can I open it?" another nod came from me. At first you gently picked the tape off, but soon enough you got impatient and starting tearing at the wrapping paper. I helped you open the box seeing as you struggled with such a simple task. You reached for the leek that lay inside and I saw your eyes glow in happiness. You hugged it kissing me on the cheek. "Thank you! I love you!" You said hugging it tighter spinning along with it. _

_I smiled at you before turning around and walking towards my car. I felt your wrap your arms around me from behind again the pillow pressing against my back between our two bodies._

"_Please don't go…" You said quietly._

_End of Flashback_

_**Arigatou Sayonara  
I should have been prepared for this  
and made myself not to regret any of it  
Why am I  
saying just thank you and goodbye?  
How could I be so strong?  
The train will soon arrive but I don't want it to  
I can't make myself understand why my heart hurts**_

I finally arrived at the station looking at the clock above I knew it was almost time… My song was almost finished too, but I sat on the station bench singing out loud and I didn't care who heard me.

_**I want you for my own  
I wished for God, but still I'm all alone  
Insecurity and emptiness  
Oh why does it hurt this much just to say goodbye?  
**_

After you left I was so alone… one by one, each friend I made left me alone, Luki was dating Luka, you and Kaito, even Akaito found someone. I thought you and I were different, together forever was what we said wasn't it, but I found out that forever only lasts so long.

_**You will have to go (you will have to go)  
I know, I know  
Don't be so kind that you make me cry again  
"...please let me go"  
I will never forget you  
I love you so much**_

I remember what happened after you hugged me again…

_Flashback_

"_Miku… please let me go…" I mumbled to you. _

"_No…" You said into my back._

_You were my best friend even after all this pain and misery you put me through that's what I believed until now._

"_I love you…"I whispered._

_You let go of me shocked. _

"_You what?"You asked shocked backing away from me a little. _

"_I love you." I said a little louder than before turning my body to see you. _

"_But bu-" I cut you with a gentle kiss to lips, but you pushed me away and that hurt more than anything._

_End of Flashback_

_**Arigatou Sayonara  
I can't say a word so please God, give me some courage  
"Hey, wait...I...I"  
then I realize that there's no distance between you and me  
Can I cry just for now?  
Words are no longer needed  
hold me tight, and never let me go  
never let me go...**_

The tears I've built up until now poured out of my eyes as my song flew out between my sobs. My knees collapsed and I found myself on all fours crying over my broken heart.

_Flashback_

_You pushed me away and away I stayed. I stood up, looking at you. _

"_Hey, wait… I…I" Before she you finish your sentence I turn my back towards you and started walking away again._

_I turned around looking at you one last time, your body shaking tears coming out of your eyes. If God would only give me courage; I'd stroll back towards you and hold you in my arms, but he didn't. I always believed there was no distance between us, but I found out today and December 19__th__ of last year that there was a bigger gap than I thought ever possible._

"_Thank Miku… for everything, goodbye."I said before opening my car door and stepping inside._

"_Wait! Where are you going? Aren't we going to Tokyo together next year?"She asked me sniffling._

"_No… I'm not going to Tokyo…"I said glumly._

"_Where are yo-"I cut her off closing my door in her face. I turned on my engine driving away without taking another glance back._

_End of Flashback_

I don't know what next year is going to bring… But I'm sure you'll never change, that's why I love you.

"MIKUO!" I turned to the voice being yelled. I watched as you ran up to my letter clenched in your hand.

"Miku!" I yelled surprised, how'd she ever find me? Stupid parents.

"What are you doing! Your parents told me you're traveling before you head over to America for school? You couldn't tell me this?"She said panting desperately for air. She looked at the train behind me as the doors closed.

"Did you just miss your train?"She asked looking at me.

"Wh-where are your bags, M-Mikuo?" She looked at me knowingly.

I smiled at her chuckling slightly. "Hey Miku…"I said walking backwards slightly as the train started moving. "Promise me… next year, to be who you want to be…"

"Thank… I love you… Goodbye…"

"Mikuo! Do-" Her voice was cut off as I leaned backwards off the edge of the platform in front of the moving train. The last thing I saw was my blood-bloody scarf fly off into the snowy sky.

**RIP**

**Hatsune Mikuo  
**

**b. January 5 1994 d. December 19 2013  
**

**Amazing friend, son, singer, and person.  
**

**Don't ever change...  
**

_**What's gonna happen to us this time next year is never known but  
promise me to be who you wanna be**_


End file.
